The Power of the Crystals

by The Missing Teens

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about

Are you angry enough? Are you attractive enough? Do you have enough addictions? No. You do not. That is… not yet. Once you hear this album, you *will* learn business acumen. You *will* reach out and crush someone. You will no longer be the irritated wanderer... you will become the funky dictator. You will come to know… THE POWER OF THE CRYSTALS.

credits

released November 1, 2011

Written by the Missing Teens
James Call - vocals, lyrics, keyboards/sequencing
DJ Pu Yi - keyboards/sequencing
Spencer Chakedis - guitars
David Tirolo - bass, background vocals
Dan Gottesman - drums
Dave Schnug - sax
Brer Brian - trumpets
Additional horns by the Porn Horns (Matt Kelly, Will Hoffman, Scott Zillitto)
Jamie Stellini - background vocals
Quin Gordon - background vocals
Will Connell - background vocals
James Pertusi - lead engineer, bass
Recorded at the Kennel in Brooklyn. Lead Engineer: James Pertusi
Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music

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all rights reserved

about

The Missing Teens Queens, New York

THE MISSING TEENS have risen like a Phoenix from the Hudson, to strip indie rock of its independence, and haul it away in chains. The aggression of Punk mixed with the marketability of Beyoncé makes The Missing Teens rock’s only hope in this dark hour. The MT have earned favorable comparisons to DEVO and the Talking Heads and have sworn to take their deranged revenge on a world awash in slack rock ... more

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Track Name: The Power of the Crystals Theme
Like a bird taking flight
Like a boat made of glass on an ocean of delight
Like the heat of the fight
Like the child of destiny running through the night
Like a dream that's alive
Like the working man casting off the nine-to-five
Like the sky, like the fire
Like the birth of the lion star

The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals

Like a man tempting fate
Like a woman and a child on an awkward date
Like a fist full of lead
Like the burning and consuming of the daily bread
You can read it in the news
You can smell it arising from the church's pews
On the street, you'll believe
Mankind awaits to receive

The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals

Who can say, a man in his day
Will burn the truth and lies away
Who can compete, who can swim through the heat
Who can stare into the ungodly face

(of the) power of the crystals
The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals
Spread your wings and fly!
Track Name: My Old Lifestyle
So many enemies, so little time
When did taking it personal become a crime
Learn to cauterize my mind
While you're busy turning, turning on a dime
Nobody knew you before the hairdo
From your aide-de-camp days the way that I do
Now I won't let them lift your curfew
Until you learn to speak when spoken to

(Until you learn) Role Reversal
Now I'm going back
Back to my old lifestyle

See you stand beneath that streetlight
Outside the apartment where we used to reside
Crying for the child that you left inside
Now don't you think that crying seems a little trite
Stop thinking about your material girl
About the time when the material burned
It's not the end of the world - you shoulda waited your turn
Mental note: lesson learned

(lesson learned about) Role Reversal
Now I'm going back
Back to my old lifestyle

So many expenses, so few rewards
You have to admit it's a challenge of sorts
Acting like a man, crossing swords
Memorizing power chords

(memorizing) Role Reversal
Now I'm going back
Back to my old lifestyle
Role Reversal
Now I'm going back
Back - back - back - back
Role Reversal
Now I'm going back
Back - back - back - back
Role Reversal
Now I'm going back
Back to my old lifestyle
Track Name: Act Like A Man
You can act like a man - you can bury your head in the sand
You can act like a man - you can slice and dice, you can wheel of fortune
You can act like a man - you can drive your SUV through a field of stand-up comedy mines
You can call it like you see it - you can act like a man
You can stand on a cliff, overlooking a lake,
Your hair blowing majestically in the wind, man's best friend besides you
A cold beer in your hand - you can act... like a man

You can act like a woman - you can bake cookies in the shape of "I don't love you anymore."
You can act like a woman - 4 hotels on Park Place. No parking.
You can act like a woman - you can tell me where I get off
You can have your cake and discuss the issues with it too. You can have your family and eat it.
You can act... like a woman

You can act like a man - you can make a personal check out to poetry
You can act like a man - you can call it like you see it. Vintage this, vintage that.
You can act like a man - you can donate your superbowl commercials to charity, to the starving children of Haiti
You can act like a man - you can make the fields run red with 5-hour energy drinks
You can act like a man - you can watch the game from a base in outer space,
And when the whole planet blows up, you can laugh, you can call them all fags,
You can do it on demand...
You can act... like a man!
Track Name: Sobriety
Sobriety - maybe I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie
Sobriety - maybe I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie
Sobriety - maybe I'll take a long walk, take another long walk, take another long walk
Sobriety - maybe I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie

I forgot how damn mundane
Everything is, everything is
I forgot how damn mundane
Everything is, everything is

Sobriety - you know I really miss sex, I really miss sex, I really miss sex
Sobriety - and now I can't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep
Sobriety - maybe I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie
Sobriety - you know I really miss sex, yeah I really miss sex, yeah I really miss sex

I forgot how damn mundane
Everything is, everything is
I forgot how damn mundane
Everything is, everything is, almost everything is, almost everything is
Sobriety

Gonna lose some weight, save some money
Lose some weight, save some money
Gonna lose some weight, save some money
Lose some weight, save some money
Gonna lose some weight, save some money
Lose some weight, save some money
Gonna lose some weight, save some money
Lose some weight, save some money
Gonna lose some weight, gonna save some money
Gonna lose a little weight, gonna save a little money
Gonna lose some weight, gonna save some money
Gonna lose a little weight, gonna save a little money
Gonna lose some weight, gonna save some money
Gonna lose a little weight, gonna save a little money
Gonna lose some weight, gonna save some money
Gonna lose a little weight, gonna save a little money
Sobriety - you know I really miss sex, I really miss sex, I really miss sex
Sobriety - and now I can't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep, I can't fall asleep
Sobriety - maybe I'll take a long walk, take another long walk, take another long walk
Sobriety - maybe I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie, I'll watch another movie

I forgot how damn mundane
Everything is, everything is
I forgot how damn mundane
Everything is, almost everything is, almost everything is, almost everything is
Everything is, everything is, everything is, everything is
Sobriety
Track Name: Willpower
Went to look at a new apartment this evening
When to see an apartment for the very first time
Seen so many new apartments in the recent past
This one wasn't the first, and it won't be the last
Don't want to look at another new apartment
Want to come back to one I can call my own
Take off my shoes, maybe my pants if I want to
Wander around naked, turn off the phone

(because) I don't have the will, I don't have the will to
I don't have the will, the time or energy to
I don't have the will, I do not have the will to
I don't have the will to do the things that I should do

Went on another first date this evening
Had drinks with this woman for the very first time
Was a unique moment, but now it has passed
Wasn't my first first date and it won't be my last
I don't want to go on another first date
Want to come back home to a girl that I know
One I can yell at, who can yell me back
Kiss and make up, go to bed, turn off the phone

I don't have the will, I don't have the will to
I don't have the will, the time or energy to
I don't have the will, I do not have the will to
I don't have the will to do the things that I should do

I'm gonna write the great American novel
But first, I think I'm gonna take a nap

I had something I was gonna do, maybe I should go get a drink by myself
I was gonna get an art grant, become a better lover, I was
gonna run for President, end racism in our time
I was gonna raise a family I could be proud of
I was gonna transcend the boundaries of human existence
But what was it I was gonna do first?
Maybe I'll... maybe I should... maybe I should just go get a drink by myself

(because) I don't have the will, I don't have the will to
I don't have the will, the time or energy to
I don't have the will, I do not have the will to
I don't have the will to do the things that I should do
No - no
No - no will
No no no - no
No will - no way
Track Name: Business Acumen
I had a friend
He was not a good friend
He was more of an acquaintance
He had business acumen
His big sales idea
It was very simple
He would package opinions
And he would sell 'em off retail
It was quite contentious
But still: highly profitable
He made buckets of cash
Now he's dating top models

I knew a lady
She was a good looking lady
She was one of those top models
She had business acumen
She would generate crises
Where no crises existed
And then sell her emotions
To the morally uncertain
She did not go out of her way
To please the costumer
The customer was always wrong
That's what they were paying for

I myself have
A number of ideas
Akin to bottled water
Or online social networking
It's business acumen!
It's not brain surgery
It clears up the skin
And it's good conversation

I sometimes wonder if I have
The needed midas touch
If I should get a haircut
Or maybe consider teaching
You know the subway
It has developed sentience
It is slowing and speeding
Based on what we're all thinking
It is slowing and speeding
Based on what we're all thinking
It is slowing and speeding
Based on what we're all thinking
It is business acumen!
It is living and breathing!
It is no small achievement
It is a mark of excellence!
It is man over superman!
It is barely even human!

Men and women
Separate 'em from the children
Via business acumen
It is like laser surgery
It is like a shot in the dark
It is over before you can catch it
No one can blame you
If you don't understand it
Track Name: Trendsetter
Trendsetter - you are the letter of the law
You oughta know better - playing with your final straw
What about your bed wetter? Why can't ever he ever tag along?
You better send him to boot camp, pay it off with your tramp stamp

Trend, trend, trend, trend, trend, trendsetter

Sipping on two-dollar beer
Take your unicorn - get 'im the hell out of here
Now is not the time or place for your post-coital sneer
This is a brand new face for the whole human race

Trend, trend, trend, trend, trend, trendsetter
Trennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndsetter

Trendsetter - you are as fast as the flash
Invite the popular kids to watch your burn and crash
This is change we can believe in when we're shelling out cash
Fly your private plane through our collective brain!

Trend, trend, trend, trend, trend, trendsetter
Trend, trend, trend, trend, trend, trendsetter
Trennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndsetter
Track Name: Stack of Documents
Here's a stack of documents that needs profiling
Here's my collection of multi-colored binder clips
Here's the secretary who doesn't know what she's talking about
She can't even use microsoft outlook
And here's the mailman who talks to me about the mossad
Or alternately, large predators of the nature world
Sometimes he tells me about female staff members he'd like to sleep with
And I get that picture in my head and I can't get rid of it
I am working hard on this stack of documents
Trying to do some damage to this stack of documents
Try to work through my mid-afternoon horniness
Get at least half-way done with this stack of documents
Something in this office is making me allergic
I can't stop sneezing, should I take a benadryl
Or should I just slip away during my lunch hour
And grab myself a cheap margarita
And then back to work on this stack of documents
Get 'em into the database, this stack of documents
Try not to focus on this mid-afternoon horiness
The matter at hand is this stack of documents

Why haven't either of the Cheryls noticed my new haircut
It is much shorter than the hair that I prefer
Maybe now they'll let me address a staff meeting
So I teach these people how to use a goddamn computer

They say this train will be moving momentarily
And that there is another one immediately behind it
Oh no - I forgot to charge my iPod
I'll just have to stare vacantly into the distance
Back home, the cat has vomited upon the floor again
Clean up it, and pour myself a cocktail
Cocktail's finished, oh no, it's way past my bedtime
Gotta go to sleep so I can wake up in the morning
And get back to work on this stack of documents
Show 'em how it's done... stack of documents
Feel so angry and tired, oh mid-afternoon horniness
Get to work on another stack of documents
Where's my promotion! stack of documents
This data don't enter itself! stack of documents
Who's this new secretary? mid-afternoon horniness
Now I'm fat and sweaty... stack of documents
It's not cool... stack of documents
It's not smooth... stack of documents
Forgot to pack a lunch! Shit! mid-afternoon horniness
Time to burn burn burn through this stack of documents
It's invincible...stack of documents
Undefeatable... stack of documents
Time immemorial... mid-afternoon horniness
Nothing special... stack of documents
Gets the better of me... stack of documents
The final victor is this stack of documents
Too tired to bother with mid-afternoon horiness
This train will be moving momentarily...
Track Name: Harem of Women
You reject the lawsuit of my heart
I'll appeal it to a higher court
You prefer men of a different sort
Still I think I'll add you to my cart

Yeah I been around the block
Nobody answers when I knock
Nobody answers when I call
No one'll talk to me at all

Maybe I have errors on my face
I am awfully fed up with this place

At a nightclub at a bar
At a grad school seminar
On the street or on the job
All alone or in the mob
I will keep the flame alive
Put it into overdrive
Put my hands on your hip
Never slacken my grip

(you'll be) in my harem, in my harem, in my harem

Each of you can have a different role
You could be the dancer on the pole
You could be the overbearing mom
You could be the indecisive one

Now there's time enough at last
At the bottom of my class
Add you to the growing list
You will see what you have missed

We will build ourselves a better home
Carve it out of blood and out of stone

The horny academic type
The party girl, the socialite
The little hippy, the tiny dancer
The one with constant nervous laughter
The one who's always power tripping
The one who's always skinny dipping
The one who keeps you up at night
Out of pleasure, out of fright

(you'll be) in my harem, in my harem, in my harem
Track Name: Only An Accident
Well the party was great
The shrimp calamari and the herd of apes
And I wouldn't be so concerned
About when you screamed, “This world should be burned!”
No one there really cared
Or noticed the flooding that filled up the room
I was sort of upset
But I busied myself trying to kill the groom

Now I can't see the angel on the head of a pin
And I can't fit a camel through the eye of a needle
I don't know why you'd say a thing like that
Unless it was only an accident
Unless it was only an accident

We watched you adjusting your shirt
But it wasn't clear if you were well or hurt
You looked alright to me
As your world weary eyes darted 'round rapidly
We're all in the same boat
And that boat has been caught in the sludge 'neath the moat
Don't start staring now, not with your cough
Just work on that diary you've been putting off!

No I can't fit the angel on the head of a pin
And then shove that same pin through the eye of a needle
I don't know why you'd say a thing like that
Unless it was only an accident
Pray God it was only an accident

You whine, you've been reduced to rubble
You're just a pile of your former self
And you ask me for all this insurance
I'm sorry I really can't help
Go bark up another tree
Stop peeling the bark off of mine
And you don't need to ask my permission
To stop constantly checking the time

You complain that your skin itches at night
But don't you know we're at chemical warfare?
Take some precaution
And be sure that you don't make that accident
Just avoid that particular accident
You pricked your finger killing the angels
That go on the pin that fits through the needle
Did I really just hear you say that?
(or) Was it only an accident?
Was it only an accident?
Track Name: Drive Uphill
I dropped the ball, looking out
For the coming disaster that I don't doubt
It's clear as crystal in the sky-blue sky
At the very least, we're all going to die
First atomic explosions'll rip our flesh
From our very bones, when we least expect it
Terrorists'll rape our children and wives
And poison the world's fresh water supply
Your attitude is unjustified!
I heard this from a man who's never lied
His teeth are solid as rock
People kill their children just to hear him talk!

(it's a) Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
From here on out, it's a whole new drill it's a
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
If we stick together, we can all make a killing

I traveled the world and expanded my mind
But made sure to make it back home on time
To reverse the process, remaining true
To my favorite colors: black and blue
I studied hard and became an expert
I signed a book deal; yeah I hit paydirt
But I threw it all away in a fit of passion
Moved to the Middle East, and tried to cash in
On the settlement craze which is big with the kids
They demolished my house and they threw me in prison
But I'm high on life, free as a bird
Good Book in one hand, I spread the Word
And I find that the Word has already been spread
So I organize a massive book-burning instead
And once again, I'm an overnight success
Between you and me, I just can't handle the stress

(of the) Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
From here on out, it's a whole new drill it's a
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
If we stick together, we can all make a killing

I came out of the closet, but found the air
Too hot and humid for me to bear
So I went back in, turned on the A/C
Now I rent the closet to the brave and the free

And yes... it's very fresh... and quite affordable. Try it, you'll like it!
Try it - you'll like it. Try it - you'll like it.
Try it - you'll like it. Try try it - you'll like it. Try try it - you'll like it. Try try it - you'll like it
A lot. ...I guarantee it.

The government set me on a critical mission
To find a candy bar with enough nutrition
To serve as the basic food staple for
What's left of mankind after the coming war
I didn't accomplish it, instead I fled
To the sanctuary of beneath my bed
Don't call me a coward - I much prefer
To think of myself as an entrepreneur
I'm getting kind of tired of all of these bums
Paying me top dollar to twiddle my thumbs
I know one day a real rain will come
And wash the streets clean for the scum
But I'm still looking out for a final solution
To all this unnecessary noise pollution
I'm losing time but never my faith
I know some the outside will be safe

(to) Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
From here on out, it's a whole new drill it's a
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
If we stick together, we can all make a killing
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
Hey man, run this package cross the street for me
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
Ahh, you sunk my battleship!
Track Name: The Power of the Crystals Theme Reprise
Like the fruit of the loom
Like the blossoming anger of Mukor's womb
Like the love, like the hate
Like Hawkman smashing the Orwellian state

Like the destruction of the Earth
Like tapping that ass, or a virgin birth
Learn sexy anger, and see the sign
Prepare the cocktail of the hyperactive mind

The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals
The power of the crystals
Track Name: The Right Thing
She paid a lot of money to get someone to tell her
How to do the right thing, do the right thing
She moisturizes her skin over and over but it don't
Do the right thing, do the right thing
It's not just a matter of your central lighting
Eternal night time, and pay-per-view fights
It's Christmas time all over; the dogs are still biting
They do the right thing, do the right thing
Acrylics, Narcissus, paternalist wishes,
Correct the right thing, reinforce the right thing
Potential repercussions from the cleaning of dishes
Will force the right thing, erect the right thing
While all the local Andy Capps and criminal handicaps
Correct the night time and get it right
A business card collection and its self-reproduction
It's doing the right thing, it's doing the right thing
In practice it's perfect, in life it's short
It does the right thing, it's nothing of the sort
It's hotter than lightning but nowhere as bright
When it's doing the right thing, doing the right thing
It's coming under fire! Celebrity sightings
The water level's rising, it's doing the right thing
Clearly you realize: the sky is falling
So put on your shades and do the right thing!

Early in the morning, cleaning the clutter
Doing the right thing, doing the right thing
Picking one romantic dinner over the other
Living the right thing, embrace the right thing
I've had enough of competitive smiling
Of taking it easy, of tending to the flock
I'm running for President, my parts are interchangeable
I'm done with my filing, it's time for the right thing
Flip through the yearbook, find religion
Discern the right thing, internalize the right thing
She's ready and she's willing she is going prospecting
She will do the right thing, do the right thing
Your sacrificial dance, your Broadways on fire
Your clothing collection, your pearly whites
Its one year's worth of fully paid vacation
Claiming to do the right thing, do the right thing

No one is watching! You're doing the right thing!
Nobody is watching, so it's alright!
You're doing the right thing! You're bigger and better
Your shoes are telling you to do the right thing!
Your haircut is telling you to do the right thing!
Your facebook is telling you to do the right thing!
Your closest friends are telling you to do the right thing!
No one is watching! Supersize your heart!
Correct the indulgences of doing the right thing!
No one is watching! Minimize your feelings!
Mark the territory of the right thing!
Your best friends are watching, so it's alright!
Sail away! Take your skin with you!
Get out of town! It's alright!
Make a getaway! Do it immediately!
On the double! It's alright!
Your best friends are telling you to do the right thing!
Your haircut is telling you to do the right thing!
Your ten o'clock is telling you to do the right thing!
And I am telling you to do the right thing!
Get out of town! Minimize your feelings!
Itemize it! Supersize your heart!
Sail away! Take a vacation from your skin!
Take your skin with you! Do the right thing!
Your best friends are telling you to do the right thing!
Everyone you know is doing the right thing!
So take a vacation! Itemize your feelings!
And do the right thing, do the right thing!
Track Name: Drive Uphill (radio edit)
I dropped the ball, looking out
For the coming disaster that I don't doubt
It's clear as crystal in the sky-blue sky
At the very least, we're all going to die
First atomic explosions'll rip our flesh
From our very bones, when we least expect it
Terrorists'll rape our children and wives
And poison the world's fresh water supply
Your attitude is unjustified!
I heard this from a man who's never lied
His teeth are solid as rock
People kill their children just to hear him talk!

(it's a) Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
From here on out, it's a whole new drill it's a
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
If we stick together, we can all make a killing

I traveled the world and expanded my mind
But made sure to make it back home on time
To reverse the process, remaining true
To my favorite colors: black and blue
I studied hard and became an expert
I signed a book deal; yeah I hit paydirt
But I threw it all away in a fit of passion
Moved to the Middle East, and tried to cash in
On the settlement craze which is big with the kids
They demolished my house and they threw me in prison
But I'm high on life, free as a bird
Good Book in one hand, I spread the Word
And I find that the Word has already been spread
So I organize a massive book-burning instead
And once again, I'm an overnight success
Between you and me, I just can't handle the stress

(of the) Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
From here on out, it's a whole new drill it's a
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
If we stick together, we can all make a killing

I came out of the closet, but found the air
Too hot and humid for me to bear
So I went back in, turned on the A/C
Now I rent the closet to the brave and the free

And yes... it's very fresh... and quite affordable. Try it, you'll like it!
Try it - you'll like it. Try it - you'll like it.
Try it - you'll like it. Try try it - you'll like it. Try try it - you'll like it. Try try it - you'll like it
A lot. ...I guarantee it.

The government set me on a critical mission
To find a candy bar with enough nutrition
To serve as the basic food staple for
What's left of mankind after the coming war
I didn't accomplish it, instead I fled
To the sanctuary of beneath my bed
Don't call me a coward - I much prefer
To think of myself as an entrepreneur
I'm getting kind of tired of all of these bums
Paying me top dollar to twiddle my thumbs
I know one day a real rain will come
And wash the streets clean for the scum
But I'm still looking out for a final solution
To all this unnecessary noise pollution
I'm losing time but never my faith
I know some the outside will be safe

(to) Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
From here on out, it's a whole new drill it's a
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
If we stick together, we can all make a killing
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
Hey man, run this package cross the street for me
Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill... Drive Uphill...
Ahh, you sunk my battleship!